Persevere: Trust your Struggle

Paradoxically, the man who has failed and one who is at the peak of success are in exactly the same position. Each must decide what he will do next, choose the course that will lead him to the future. - Jigoro Kano

In 1970, Paul McCartney filed a lawsuit against his three best friends to exit his contract with the Beatles. What ensued was a maddening attack against him, his character, and his reputation for years to come. But more than that it hurt him, his friends, and his family in ways I can barely imagine. And what blows my mind, more so than anything else, is he went on and produced an album and started over anyways. The world is better because he did.

Persevere.

I hesitated writing this post. I feel like it is more personal than I intended to write here. But the truth is I think a lot of people are dealing with hurt right now, from a variety of places. My experience in this ‘scene’ hasn’t really been altogether that positive. I have seen people take research of others and present it as their own, I had someone attempt to do that to me. I have seen people who I think are utterly wrong being celebrated as being a major success. I have seen the hurt people have caused others overlooked, simply because of who they were. There is way too much gatekeeping, and we are still arguing about who is ‘leet’ and who isn’t. I have been around long enough to see the victims become the abusers. If you are disenchanted with the ‘scene’ — you aren’t alone.

Persevere anyways.

My experience in the industry hasn’t been all sunshine either. I spent the first part of it working on projects that were only happening because of compliance. I learned first hand how little many clients valued my work, and had more than a few get angry if I did a good job and found things. I have had to fight to keep my integrity and refuse to do things to omit stuff I knew was totally right. I’ve had projects clearly scoped to fail, and I have jumped through far more red tape than I ever wanted. I have seen bad security pay out and make people millions. I sacrificed time with my family to do research, to give talks, and to try and share with others. Who even knows how well that was received. If you are frustrated with progress or being valued— you aren’t alone.

Persevere anyways.

Jigoro Kano is the founder of judo, and a very profound educator. I think about his quote listed above almost every day. When I am mad, when I am happy, when I am sad— it always goes back to the same question, what are you going to do next. You don’t need to live in the mud, and you only have to stay there as long as you want. Each day you have a choice, some are just really hard. Paul McCartney could have hung up his instruments and never played a single song after the Beatles. He’d have been justified, and had an accomplishment under his belt that no one can deny.

But he rammed on.

For all the bad that I have seen happen, and all the frustration I have had, I have also been a part of making great things come to fruition. I have built awesome software that people still use. I launched a conference that has grown in size 10x from where it started and now stands on its own. I have found awesome bugs and I’ve done some really cool testing. I have helped people grow their own careers, some even bigger than my own. I have travelled the world, made friends, and slayed applications. And I am just getting started.

Who knows what impact you or I will have in the world. I won’t ever be Paul McCartney. But a better question is why would that matter? What is your real motivation, and what value do you really derive out of why you do things. No industry can take away from me all I have done, and no scene is needed to validate how skillful I am. Why care? I enjoy what I do, and I have loved it since I was a little kid. Don’t lose sight of that. The only person who can take that joy away from me is me. And trust me, I’ve let people do it. But I can live with what I have done, and all that am still doing. In the same way, you have something special you can bring to this space. Bring it to light, share it with others.

Persevere. The world will be better for it.

The last I will offer is a reminder, you aren’t alone. There is no way that Paul McCartney got through that time in his life alone. He still had to do that work, but he clearly wasn’t alone. A lot of friends and family and peers have helped me accomplish the things I have done too. No one is an island. I am sure there are people who would love to help you bring something magical into this world. And if you can’t find any, lets talk! I’ll climb into the mud and we can dig out of it together if need be. You aren’t alone.